


Sans is not a good life student

by Coloured_Rainbow



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, best way to put that without spoilers i guess, lotsa it, suicidal stuff, that's hopefully written half decently, v i o l e n ce
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-07-22 01:31:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7413196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coloured_Rainbow/pseuds/Coloured_Rainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"why did you-” another blood curdling screech escaped Sans’ mouth as Flowey violently jerked on his arm, breaking it all over again. It was twice as painful as before, sending jolts of pain through his whole body.<br/>“Like I said,” Flowey squeaked slowly, “we could do this. All. Night.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How to be a little bitch featuring Flowey the flower

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unrestedjade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrestedjade/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Flowey Is Not a Good Life Coach](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5056333) by [unrestedjade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrestedjade/pseuds/unrestedjade). 



> Be sure to check the story linked above out! (Its like this only better) This'll probably be more enjoyable if you read that first.  
> I don't know if I'll add to it... I'll try if I can think up more story stuffs :3
> 
> Enjoy!

Even the wind that blew in Snowdin was vicious; constantly knocking over trees and leaving monsters stranded out in snowstorms. Tonight was one of those rare nights that it was actually calm. Neither Sans nor Flowey could feel like other monsters, but the constant wind that knocked Flowey back and forth on those restless days got annoying after a while. It didn't seem to really bother Sans. 

Flowey wouldn't exactly be able to look back on this timeline and call the two of them friends, but he actually, and surprisingly, got along with Sans quite well. They'd been meeting for weeks on end on the top of hill where Flowey brought most of his other "friends" in other timelines. It was a nice, secluded spot where no one could hear any screams. Not that anyone would care otherwise. When the two of them got together, Sans would usually vent about how he hated his brother, and the idiotic king, and the citizens of Snowdin, and monsters in other towns... basically everyone in the Underground. But Flowey never seemed to get any specifics. Just mindless ranting. Now, after nearly two hours of more rambling, an almost comfortable silence took over. Nothing was ever _completely _comfortable here.__

 _ _Flowey looked over at Sans with intrigue. This was one of the first timelines where they actually had some real conversations. And from what Flowey gathered, he wasn't exactly the smartest monster out there. His english was horrendous and he constantly slurred and gosh the _swearing _. Most of his vocabulary consisted of curse words. But Flowey could tell something was different. Beneath the blubbering idiot character that Sans projected, there was something there. Something he couldn't exactly place his finger on.____

 _ _ _ _Maybe it was the fact he was the only monster he hadn't killed yet. Whenever Flowey went on a spree, he was always somewhere else, hiding out of sight. Flowey hoped that wasn't a coincidence.____

 _ _ _ _

He wanted to do something interesting with this save file. But before he jumped straight to killing him, he might as well have some fun first. After all, living here you have to learn to never judge a book by it's cover. Sans might have some tricks up his sleeves. And if he did, Flowey was going to bring him to the top.

“You know what, Sans?” Flowey said, breaking the silence. “I feel like you could do a lot better.” 

“thanks,” Sans mumbled sarcastically. “i'm flattered, flower.” Although they’d been talking for some time, he refused to call Flowey by his name.

“Well, I just mean, your brother-”

“what about him?" Sans spat. 

"I mean, he's The Great Papyrus. Head of the Royal Guard!" Flowey grinned. "I feel like you've always been living in his shadow, hmm?" 

"your point?" 

“Don't you want everybody to know how strong you are? How _better _you are?” Flowey cooed.__

Sans sneered, but held back. “my bro might be the world’s biggest asshole, but i ain’t gonna lie. he’s good at what he does." 

Flowey had seen Papyrus fight. He was composed and strong and always stayed inside the lines with ease. Though, in the end, he couldn’t do anything against Flowey. Maybe he could be a better fighter if he wasn’t blinded by his huge ego all the time. The guy never thought there was a chance that someone else could be better than him; could have the ability to _kill _him.__

 _ _"and i ain't exactly a fighter, flower." Sans shrugged. "too lazy."__

 _ _

“What if I could help you?” Flowey offered. 

Sans laughed. “you? help _me _? you're too fucking cute.”__

Flowey's smile stiffened. “I’m stronger than you think, idiot.”

"i wouldn't believe it unless i saw it with my own two eye sockets."

“Maybe I’ll just have to show you then.” Flowey grit his teeth, itching to see what attacks Sans might be hiding.

“is that a threat, flower?” Sans leaned in, his smile fading.

“Yeah,” the ground beneath him shifted as his vines expanded. “I believe it is.”

Sans stared at Flowey for another moment before letting out a sigh. “c’mon, i’m jus’ jokin’. i seriously don't wanna do this, today.”

“I do,” there was a eerie twang to Flowey’s voice, “and you better fight like your life depends on it.” He now stood at least three times taller than Sans with an unsettling smile splitting his face. “Because it does!”

Vines shot in Sans’ direction, but he jumped into the air, shoving his hands angrily into his pockets. The snow crunched as he fell heavy on his feet in the snow.

“c’mon, we’re pals, right?” Sans asked tiredly. “i’ll shut up, let's jus' not do this.” 

Flowey smiled wider. “I’m not leaving without a fight.” Sans looked up at Flowey, wide eyed, as he reached nearly eight feet tall, vines gathering in threatening bunches in all directions.

Sans sighed. “fine,” he snapped his fingers, making his hand glow the same deep red as his single lit eye. Flowey lunged, drooling sap as he growled. He stuck his hand out, but because of Flowey’s lack of a soul, he couldn’t use his red attack. After a failed attempt of stopping him in place, he shielded his face with his arm, creating a temporary barrier in front of him of which Flowey ran into.

He almost immediately recovered, attacking again. “fuck, man.”

They fought for only half an hour. A few minutes in, Flowey could already see Sans heaving in air, sweating bullets. The whole battle was mostly Flowey attacking and Sans doing his best to dodge the attacks. Flowey would fix this later on.

In no time at all, Sans collapsed to his knees, barely even able to gasp in a decent breath.

Flowey crooned over Sans with slight disappointment. “Wow, are you weak!”

“fuck off.” Sans wheezed. The cheeriness in Flowey's voice served more as annoying now than anything.

Flowey laughed. “Don't worry. I’ll make sure you do better next time.”

“there,” he swallowed, “ain’t gonna be a next time.”

“Oh, but there is, friend!” By the time Flowey finished his sentence, he was shrunken down to normal size. “You are going to meet me again tomorrow so we can train more.”

Sans cackled, spit flying on Flowey’s face. “what makes you think,” he huffed, having a hard time getting the words out, “i’m ever gonna come here again?”

Vines shot up again, but this time they wrapped and wriggled their way around Sans’ arm, holding it out in front of him. When he tried to struggle, more came out and held his body in place.

“Say you’re going to come.” Flowey said smugly.

“go fuck your-" Sans was cut off by his own deafening scream as the vines contracted, bending his elbow backward and snapping the bone clear in half. He huffed in air in short breaths, trying to calm himself. 

“I’ll say this again,” Flowey said calmly. “Say. You’ll. Come.”

Sans mustered up the energy to spit a wad of red saliva at Flowey. He wiped it off his face with a vine, almost looking sorry for the pathetic creature in front of him. The vines crawled up his arm, twisting around his right shoulder. 

Sans swallowed hard, closing his eyes. He shut his jaw tight to hold back from screaming. When he didn't oblige to Flowey's demand, Flowey jerked up the vines and there was an audible pop as his shoulder dislocated. Sans couldn’t help but let out a pitiful squeak.

“Sans. We could do this all night.” Flowey said softly.

“you’ll,” huff, “run outta bones,” huff, “eventually.” His voice was shaky and he looked on the verge of tears. He'd never seen someone so weak in this universe.

A vine came up, gently making contact with Sans’ shoulder. It was cold to the touch, making Sans sigh with relief as his whole arm came back together. Besides slight bruising at the joints, it was as good as new.

“why did you-” another blood curdling screech escaped Sans’ mouth as Flowey violently jerked on his arm, breaking it all over again. It was twice as painful as before, sending jolts of pain through his whole body.

“Like I said,” Flowey squeaked slowly, “we could do this. All. Night.”

“i won’t,” cough, “do it,” cough.

He let Sans’ arm hang limp by his side, wrapping his vines around his left one.

“Sans, I’d rather you leave here in one piece. Don't you?” He lifted his chin so he looked him in the eye.

Sans couldn't even gather the strength to say anything anymore.

“Okay!” He chirped. “If you insist!” This time he squeezed his arm, crushing it entirely. 

Sans cried out. “fine!” His voice cracked as he spoke, “i’ll do it! I’ll… fuckin’... do it…” Flowey immediately let go, letting Sans crash to the floor. He yelped when he fell sideways onto his arm, unable to move either of them. He couldn’t help but start to violently sob, shaking and drooling on the hard, snow-covered ground. 

“Wow,” Flowey said. “You really are pathetic. But don’t worry friend! That’s why I’m here, to help out my _favorite _skeleton.” He let Sans writhe in pain for several minutes before healing him once he got annoyed with his groaning. He loomed above him, a smile still plastered on his face. “Have a safe trip home, friend!” And with that, Flowey disappeared underground.__

As soon as he was out of sight, Sans slowly and shakily stood up. God, if he was gonna give up anyways, he should've given up sooner and spared himself the pain.

He took a step, but just fell back on his knees. And he’d have to do this all again tomorrow.

“i need a fuckin’ drink.”

__

__

__


	2. Once a drunk...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans left his arms limp at his sides. Everytime he tried to move them it just hurt. He trudged into town, heading straight for Grillby’s. If he was lucky, he wouldn't run into Papyrus and he could get a few drinks in first before being dragged to his sentry station.
> 
> “SANS!” A high pitched voice rang out.
> 
> But of course he’s never that lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the support! I'm glad to see people are liking it so far!  
> This chapters a little short, but I'm hoping they'll get longer as the plot thickens.  
> 

Flowey popped up out of the ground near the entrance to Waterfall. It was usually his go-to place because not many people came here in fear of Undyne. Plus, the echo flowers that grew here were the closest thing in this wretched world to actually bringing him joy.

He was going to sit in the flower patches like he usually does, but he needed to concentrate on Sans for the moment. He hadn’t even needed to heal himself afterward because Sans never seriously attacked him; quite disappointing on Sans’ part.

He was going to tell Sans not to tell anyone about their little meet-ups, but he knew no one was listen to him anyways. Maybe he would warn him at their next meeting just in case, but even his brother most likely wouldn’t do anything even if he _did _listen to him. Flowey was convinced that if he had feelings, this would make him sad.__

Next time, he would make Sans show him what he’s made of for real. At least he knew now he responds well to torture. Unlike his brother, he’s fairly weak. He _does _only have one HP. Luckily, Flowey knew his way around harming people, so him accidentally dusting shouldn’t be a problem.__

As fun as all this was, what would him making Sans stronger actually accomplish? Now that he thought about it, he’s never seen Sans get into the royal guard before. It might be a stretch, but maybe he could make Sans _head _of the royal guard. But there was one problem:__

Papyrus.

He could just kill him himself, but where would be the fun in that? He’s already done it a thousand times-

But there was someone else who had never done it.

Flowey grinned, idea-striken.

“Oh boy! This ought to be fun!”

____________________________

Sans left his arms limp at his sides. Every time he tried to move them it just hurt. He trudged into town, heading straight for Grillby’s. If he was lucky, he wouldn't run into Papyrus and he could get a few drinks in first before being dragged to his sentry station.

“SANS!” A high pitched voice rang out.

But of course he’s never that lucky.

“‘sup boss?” Sans mumbled, wincing as he moved his hands into his pockets to look more nonchalant.

“YOU KNOW WHAT’S ‘SUP’, YOU MORON!” Papyrus raised a finger in the air as he talked like he did whenever he got worked up. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT? AND WHY DO YOU LOOK SO MUCH MORE SHITTY THAN USUAL?”

Sans hadn’t noticed before, but he did look pretty beat up. He was sweaty and hot and his jacket had tears from the thorns on the flowers vines. 

“was jus’ trainin’, boss.” He didn't even bother trying to tell his brother the truth. Even in the rare chance that he did believe him, he would just tell him to man up and fight back.

Papyrus cackled. “YOU? TRAINING?! YOU MUST FIND ME AS AN IDIOT, SANS, TO EVER THINK I’D BELIEVE YOU'D BE TRAINING ON YOUR OWN TIME.”

Sans scowled. He could train if he wanted to. Plus, he had a feeling that flower was gonna be a real workout for him, now. 

“well, you better believe it. i’m gonna start training now.” He spat. 

“AND WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU BE DOING THAT?”

“so i can beat your ass up,” Sans almost laughed at himself, but Papyrus did that for him.

“YOU,” he chuckled, “ARE THE LAZIEST, WEAKEST PERSON IN ALL THE UNDERGROUND. THE FUCKING TOWN DRUNK. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN THINK YOU COULD- YOU KNOW WHAT? FOR MAKING ME LAUGH, I’M GOING TO ALLOW YOU THE REST OF THE DAY OFF. AND DON’T LET YOUR HANGOVER AFFECT YOUR WORK TOMORROW.” Papyrus stomped past Sans, still laughing. “WHAT A JOKE.” 

Sans stared at his feet until his brother disappeared into the mist. “well, fuck you too.” He sluggishly walked into Grillby’s, heavily sitting on a bar stool.

“Hello Sans,” Grillby greeted him as he came in.

Sans threw his head onto the table, burying it in his arms. It hurt to have them at that position, but he was hoping some alcohol would numb them for him.

“give me, like, 5 bottles of your strongest whiskey.” He moaned. 

He gripped one of the bottles Grillby brought back for him, staring at its contents.

“What happened this time?” Grillby asked, being one of the only decent monsters in the underground. 

He popped the cap off the bottle, chugging down the sweet nectar it held inside. 

“my brother knows me too much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, everyone in this story's a dick, huh?  
> Except for Grillbz. He's p chill.


	3. The girl in the woods fucks things up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the hell, Sans?!” Came a booming voice from behind him. He jumped again, but held back from attacking. Luckily he did, because the person in front of him would’ve likely made him pay afterward.
> 
> “oh! uh,” he tripped, landing on all fours, “heya sweethea-- uh, undyne. yeah, undyne..”
> 
> She towered above him, her hand on her hips. She had heavy, steel armor on that made her look even more intimating. “Do you want to explain what the fuck I just saw?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shamelessly used my friends OC :3 She's not gonna be a main character, but she's kinda important to the story.  
> Thanks for the support! Finally got to writing this chapter. Hope you guys like it!

“heh heh, hey grillby,” Sans lifted his head off the counter, tightly gripping his third bottle of whiskey. “you’re a pretty _hot _guy.” Sans burst out laughing, gripping his side to stop the aching. “get it? cause, like, your sexy, but, you're also made of fire.”__

Grillby just rolled his eyes. Even a polite gentlemen like him would get sick of a joke after hearing it for a 7th time. “Yes, it’s very funny, Sans,” he mumbled.

“i know, i’m fuckin’ hilarious,” he took a quick gulp, letting out a long sigh. “i shouldn’ve had so much. heh, that’s weird comin’ from me, huh?” He stood up, groaning. “now i need a shit-load of coffee.” The bottle made a loud clank as he slammed it on the table and headed out the door. “see ya to _marrow_ , grillbz. heh, to _marrow_.”

After he was out of sight, Grillby added, “goodbye," cleaning up after the unpaid-for drinks. 

He stepped out into the darkening night, breathing in the cold air. Once he got home he'd have to deal with his brother's "I TOLD YOU SO"s about him getting drunk again. 

Or maybe he didn’t. At least not until morning. 

He turned, taking a detour through the woods.

He went in deep, burying himself in the trees. He just wanted to be alone until he had to suffer again. He would try to go deeper and hide from that flower, but he felt the little demon wasn't that far anyways. He would find him, and running away would just screw himself over even more.

God, he wished the little thing would just kill him. Then he could just avoid him in future resets, if he could remember. 

He stumbled, grabbing onto a tree for support. He slid down the trunk, sitting on the hard, frosty ground. 

Sans tried not to think too much because it always led to no good, but he always seem to whenever he finally got some alone time. He couldn’t help but wonder about past resets and think about why the universe couldn't make up its mind and just continue on as normal. He used his palms to rub his eye sockets, trying to stay awake.

He wished there was just one person who could be here with him; someone to comfort him. The closest thing he had to that was that flower and look where that got him. Why was it so hard to make just one goddamn friend? Or at least meet someone who didn’t want to kill him?

Maybe he could go visit Toriel. She sort of cared. At least she listened to him rant and told him what a douche his brother was and agreed with him. He bet if she would come out, she would be gorgeous and would hug him and tell him he was always right… nah. He’s never that lucky. He wouldn't be surprised if it was all an elaborate plan to lure him in so _she _could kill him. It’s always like that here.__

He angrily punched the tree next to him, swearing and rubbing his knuckles.

“A-are you okay?” Came a small, raspy voice.

Sans jumped in place, letting out a small yelp. He lifted his arm and threw it outward, summoning a floating animal skull that shot out a beam of raw energy at the noise. He stood up and slurred, “who the fuck’s there?”

On the ground in front of him was a fairly tall girl with a muzzle and horns wrapping around her ears; what kind of monster she was was a mystery to him. She was wearing a red t-shirt with a black long sleeve beneath it and leather shoes. She looked at him with wide eyes, cowering against a tree. She gripped the bloody, skinned arm where he had hit her.

“oh, jesus,” Sans shooed the blaster away, walking toward the girl. “here kid, lemme-” before he could help her, she scurried into the forest, out of sight. “fuck, man.” He was too tired already from using his attack to chase after her.

“What the hell, Sans?!” Came a booming voice from behind him. He jumped again, but held back from attacking. Luckily he did, because the person in front of him would’ve likely made him pay afterward.

“oh! uh,” he tripped, landing on all fours, “heya sweethea-- uh, undyne. yeah, undyne..”

She towered above him, her hand on her hip. The heavy, steel armor she had on made her look even more intimating than she already was. “Do you want to explain what the fuck I just saw?”

Sans did not want to deal with this right now; he couldn’t even think straight. Undyne had never seen his blasters before, and he hoped it would stay that way. He was better off having everyone think he was useless so they would leave him alone.

“i,” he sighed. “it was my attack,” he explained, too tired to make excuses, “that girl scared me and thought she was gonna-”

“I don't want an explanation,” she spat, “that was… fuCKING AWESOME!!” She fist pumped, squatting down next to him.

He was expecting a scolding, so when her reply sunk into his skull, he just stared at her blankly. “what.”

“You didn’t tell me you could do that!” She violently grabbed him by the shoulder, lifting him up. He let out a small shriek. “What the hell Sans?!” He had never seen her so… happy before.

“uh, i just-”

“I though you were a lazy sack of shit, but you know what?” She aggressively poked him in the chest, “we could use that kind of firepower in the royal guard!” What. “And once I give you some training,” _what _. “You’ll be even more lethal!”__

“oh, no no no.” He shook his hand, pushing her off. “no way, man. fuck that noise. no way in hell i’m-”

Undyne grinned, sending shivers down Sans’ spine. “You don’t have a choice, Sansy.” She gripped his shirt, lifting him up. “You are meeting me at my house early tomorrow morning-” she paused, smelling the alcohol in his breath, “in two days, in the morning,” she corrected, “we’ll do a little coordination and see what you can do.”

“undyne, i can’t-”

“See ya then!” She threw him down, stomping off and cackling.

Goddammit.

He sat there for a moment, going over and over what just happened in his head. He couldn’t believe it. He was going to be in the royal guard. This was his worst nightmare; having to train, get up early, be around his brother. He was already going to be training with the stupid flower, now this?

Just his luck.

He stood up after a while, walking back into town.

“SANS.” His brother yelled the moment he stepped foot in the house. Jeez, did the guy ever sleep? 

“hey, bro.”

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CALLING ME THAT?” He whined.

“whatever bro, i'm going to bed.” Sans started up the stairs, but Papyrus stopped him.

“EXCUSE YOU.” He said sarcastically. “WHAT ON EARTH MADE YOU THINK YOU COULD IGNORE ME? I NEED TO TALK WITH YOU LIKE A BROTHER.”

“bro, no.” He shrugged Papyrus off, continuing up the stairs. “i need to get rest,” he smirked, “for my coronation into the royal guard.” As much as he hated he situation at least he might be able to show his brother he’s worth something. 

Before Papyrus could reply, Sans shut himself in his room.

He slid down his door, plopping onto the carpet. He was tired and worn out and sweaty and his head hurt…

Ugh, and he had to see that flower again tomorrow.

He crawled over to his bed, sprawling out on the mattress. He clicked his tongue, trying to hold back puking.

He rolled over, gripping his pillow and burying his face in it. Its sucked being a cuddler in this universe. Especially when no one in your family, or anyone at all, really, would get anywhere near you. He used to get in trouble a lot when he was younger for trying to hug his father. And getting in trouble with him did not leave desirable results.

He shivered at the thought of his father and rolled over again.

He hoped he would never meet anyone like him again.

He hoped his brother would start to be nicer.

He hoped that flower would leave him alone.

He hoped he didn’t have to stay in the royal guard.

He hoped that girl he hit was okay.

He hoped the resets would stop.

God, for someone who’d given up on everything, he sure hoped a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor cuddly Sans :c


	4. Not your average shitty day, I suppose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans groaned. “flower…” He coaxed. “c’mon. why dontchya find someone else ta pick on?”
> 
> Instead of an answer, Sans was gifted by a flurry of vines shooting out of the floor and rocketing upward at a concerning distance from his arm. He moved out of the vines’ way, sitting back up and giving the flower a bored look. “fine. where to, pansy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been awhile ;-; wh o o ps

Sans didn't even have time to think about screaming as that damn flower chirped hello, already having covered his mouth with a pillow. “Be quiet! Wouldn't want your brother to hear you, now, would we?”

Sans frantically waved his arms around, grabbing the pillow and throwing it to the floor. “what the hell--how’d you get in here?”

“I have my ways,” the flower giggled proudly. “i was going to wait for you, but I figured you’d sleep in. I would be mad, but how could I be when my favorite got accepted into the Royal Guard!” How the hell did he know that…?

Suddenly, everything from last night came rushing back into Sans’ mind. “shit, man.” He ran his hand across his skull, resting it on his neck. He went to talk more, but instead sighed, falling back onto the bed. “i aint even s’pposed to see undyne until tomorrow.”

“That's why it’s perfect, silly!” he laughed. “Now we can train before your big day!”

Sans groaned. “flower…” He coaxed. “c’mon. why dontchya find someone else ta pick on?”

Instead of an answer, Sans was gifted by a flurry of vines shooting out of the floor and rocketing upward at a concerning distance from his arm. He moved out of the vines’ way, sitting back up and giving the flower a bored look. “fine. where to, pansy?” The vines shot back to their origin, out of sight.

“Meet me in Snowdin Forest in about an hour or so,” he winked. “See you then!” Sans waited for the flower to retract into the ground before he let out a long, dramatic sigh.

After a few minutes, he finally managed to sit up and stretch, looking solemnly down at his torn up floor. That damn flower…

Sans could feel his head pound as he clomped his way down the steps of his house, each stair individually creaking as his feet made contact. How that flower expected him to fight with such a hangover was beyond him.

As he made his way into the kitchen to start some coffee, he peaked out the front window to see that it was still dark outside. He didn’t know what time is was, but he bet it was too early.

He sluggishly got onto his tiptoes, reaching for a coffee mug on the shelf above the counter and just barely missing by a few inches. He grumbled angrily to himself as he climbed up on the counter, taking a few seconds to gather the energy to boost himself up completely. He wobbled backwards, nearly falling off, and grabbed onto the bottom of the cupboard for support. 

Could nothing be easy for him?

He got the mug, clenching it as tight as he was able to with his numb hands, but as he started to step back a loud voice rang through the air, causing him to grab onto the cupboard door. The door swung open, sending him falling backward onto the floor along with the mug that shattered to pieces. Waves of pain shot through his body, making the joints that flower had broke hurt all over again. He managed to hold back a shout, but couldn’t help but subsequently let out a groan.

Papyrus cackling above him didn’t help the pain.

“YOU’RE LUCKY THAT WASN’T ONE OF MY MUGS, OR ELSE THAT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AS FUNNY,” Papyrus laughed, stepping over him. “NEXT TIME GET THE ASSISTANCE OF A REAL ADULT.” He swiped a mug from the top shelf with ease, setting it on the counter. “AND MAKE SURE TO CLEAN UP THAT MESS BEFORE YOU LEAVE TODAY.”

Sans, still on the floor, mock saluted. “whatever you say, boss.”

“AS ALWAYS,” he stated smugly.

Sans, after a moment, gained the strength to sit himself up, haphazardly plucking the broken pieces of glass off of the floor. After he held all of the pieces in his hands, he sat on the floor and stared at them blankly. 

He didn’t think he’d have it in him to stand up.

“ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT,” Papyrus rasped. 

He couldn’t really remember much from last night. At least not in detail. “might wanna be more specific, boss.”

Papyrus rolled his eyes, continuing. “ABOUT THE ROYAL GUARD.” 

“oh, that.”

“YOU WEREN’T SERIOUS I ASSUME?” He cocked an eyebrow, looming over Sans and casting a threatening shadow. “JUST MORE SHITFACED BANTER?”

Sans really didn't feel like explaining, but it was hard not to answer the guy. “nah. undyne, uh…” He paused. “she saw my attack and said for me ta join. not that i had much a say in it,” he added in a mumble.

“YOU'RE KIDDING.” He didn't sound much amused anymore. 

Sans shrugged, sighing. “wish i was, boss.”

“YOU’RE WEAK-ASS IS GOING TO GET KILLED OUT THERE,” Papyrus spat sharply.

“since when do you care?” Sans rolled his eyes, looking down. “plus, you’re always yellin’ at me ta do this kinda shit all the time.”

Papyrus opened his mouth to talk, but hesitated. Sans glared with intrigue.

That was new…

“I JUST… DON’T WANT TO WORK BESIDE YOU, IS ALL.” Yeah, that was more like him.

“i doubt i’ll be workin’ anywhere near your rank, boss.” As Sans kept talking, his voice became severely rougher. All of this talking was killing his throat. “you wanna talk undyne outta this, be my fuckin’ guest.” He looked back down at the shards in his hand.

Man, he didn't want to move.

Papyrus folded his arms, knowing well that he was too frightened to ever confront Undyne to tell her to back out of one of her plans.

“ARE YOU GOING TO MEET WITH HER?”

“undyne?” He shrugged. “yeah, sometime tomorrow.” 

“AND WHAT. DO YOU PLAN ON SITTING AROUND ALL DAY UNTIL THEN?”

It crossed his mind. He was pretty comfy here, considering.

Papyrus sighed at Sans’ silence, leaning over and grabbing his hand. Sans flinched at the contact, hissing in air and clenching his teeth as he tugged on his arm and stood him up.

That did not feel good.

He swallowed hard, falling to the side and stumbling into the counter, breathing heavily at the throbbing in his arm.

“WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO YOU?” Papyrus questioned.

“y’know,” Sans breathed. “prolly all that trainin’.”

“RIGHT.” Papyrus rolled his eyes again.

Once Sans regained his breath, he dumped the glass into a bin by the sink, leaving his hands empty.

He put some ground coffee into a pot, letting it bubble in the strange machine they found in the dump as Papyrus reluctantly left the room. He watched the machine with a blank expression, focusing intently on the buzz of his numb body.

Man, he’d never felt this much like shit in his entire life.

He couldn't even bother to think of anything. He just stood in silence, letting his mind stay blank until after what felt like hours there was a small, high pitched beep that made him jump. It strangely remind him of that flower. He took the pot out of the machine, pouring the hot coffee into the mug his brother retrieved for him.

He took a deep breath, managing a small smile, or maybe a grimace, at the smell emitting from his cup. He wrapped his shaking, skeletal fingers around it, soaking up the heat. He could hardly feel it through the static that seemed to block out all his senses, but it was something.

He slowly made his way over to the couch, plopping down on the lumpy cushion with a relieved sigh. He could never sit down enough, it seemed. 

Unbeknownst to Sans, Papyrus stood at the bottom of the stairs with his arms crossed, watching Sans intently as he sipped his coffee.

His head cleared as the liquid dissolved into magic, feeding his unseen soul and giving him enough free mind space to think about the flower.

He’d have to get up in a few minutes and search for him in the forest, seeing as he didn’t give him a very specific location. He assumed he meant at the hill they used to meet at, but that was pretty far out.

Maybe he could find it in him to teleport there. Or at least half way.

He stared down at his coffee, not snapping back to reality until the outside of the mug became cold. He tried to take a sip, but spit out a gulp of cold-ass, disgusting coffee onto the couch cushion beside him. He stuck out his tongue, setting the mug on the table next to him on top of a book on quantum physics. Sans never knew where it came from, but it was there.

Maybe he could get into it if he knew how to read.

He took in one last unsteady breath before standing up and staring ahead.

He sluggishly made his way over to the door, but was halted by Papyrus blocking his path. “GOING SOMEWHERE?”

Sans shoved his hands in his pockets, now able to move his hands without wincing in pain. “yeah. jus’ gonna go chill in the forest; get some fresh air.” Papyrus put an accusing hand on his hip. “not like i got anywhere else ta be.”

“YOU COULD BE MANNING YOUR STATION,” Papyrus suggested.

“after my break,” Sans shrugged, going walking past him, but was again stopped by Papyrus’ arm.

He looked up at him, studying the hesitant look on Papyrus’ face for a moment until he reluctantly put his arm down, glancing away from him. “FINE. BUT IF A HUMAN COMES DOWN WHILE YOU ARE ABSENT, DON’T EXPECT IT TO BE TAKEN LIKELY.” Without looking back, he stomped up the stairs towards his room. “DON’T TAKE LONG.” Sans watched him walk away, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

He might’ve thought more into Papyrus’ recent reactions if he cared enough, but right now he had enough on his mind. He sighed, breaking through the dense wind and stepping into the thick snow.

His breath condensed in the stale air, hanging visibly in place for a moment before floating upward and disappearing into the darkness. It must’ve been four in the fucking morning; that damn flower. He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

He craned his neck to look up at the glinting ceiling that seemed to condescendingly wink at him, taunting him. Those shining rocks only served as a grim reminder of how they were trapped down there; how he would never see the real sky. He could feel his metaphorical stomach turn in his ribcage, making him swallow nervously.

Back when, he might’ve talked to the flower about that. About how he felt.

But it looked like that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.

He had to admit, he would miss those meaningless talks with the thing. That flower was the only thing that ever came close to making him feel…. well, safe wasn’t quite the right word. He guessed it was just nice to have someone actually listen to him, even if it turned out to be fake.

He really thought that maybe he cared, even just a little bit.

But of course not. Nothing was ever that easy for him. It seemed that happened a lot. If Papyrus was right about anything, it was definitely the fact that Sans was soft. He gave in too easily, clinging to anything that showed even the faintest sign of caring.

He so desperately, too desperately, wanted someone to be nice.

To be his friend.

In no time, without even realizing, Sans reached the hill, trudging to the top with some difficulty.

He looked around, but saw no flower. He called him all the way out here, he could at least bother showing up on time.

Maybe this wasn’t the right place. 

...Nah. He had a feeling that flower would know where he was no matter where he went. He wouldn’t put it past the thing to take his damn sweet time, leaving Sans shivering in the cold.

He sighed, walking near the edge of the hill that ended in a steep cliff, dropping hundreds of feet into the second layer of Snowdin. Sans looked out onto the dark houses and abandoned puzzles solemnly. It seemed even more eerie out being there alone.

He squinted as to see the bottom of the drop where the cliff met the snow piles below. 

It didn’t seem like a bad idea to let himself fall, crushing his fragile body and drifting into that strange, seductive darkness until the next reset.

He could feel his soul beat a little faster at the thought.

He’d thought about doing it before, but never really had it in him. Whether that was fear or laziness talking was unknown to him. But death never seemed like such a good option until that moment.

He’d been killed before, though he wasn’t sure by who. Those timelines never really stuck with him. Most of them faded away into the back of his mind and he couldn’t remember much. Maybe he could know more if he tried. But he knew what death was like, and honestly it wasn’t that bad. It was a pathetic escape, but Sans had never had much pride before anyways.

Weighing out the pros and cons didn’t take long.

Live through a painfully long timeline while being tortured, or relieve himself of his misery for even just a few minutes and not have anyone else know about it ever.

Yeah, the choice was obvious.

He stepped closer to the edge, anxiously gripping his heaving chest and looking at the town below. His breathing quickened and his body became numb.

Of course he’d be too much of a coward to do it.

But that fear suddenly melted away as a small, squeaky voice happily chirped his name behind him. His body quickly relaxed and he closed his eyes, taking a step forward.

It’d only hurt for a moment.

He didn’t hear the flower swear loudly over the ringing in his ears as he plummeted down at a frightening rate towards the suddenly very comforting looking, snow-covered ground below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man  
> sans has absolutely no chill

**Author's Note:**

> Sick of me never updating? Me too
> 
> Come bug me on my tumblr  
> https://rainbow-flavoured.tumblr.com


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